Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
