ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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