What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
