i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
