think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
