I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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