how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize