Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
