He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
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