Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
