White coat. Heels.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
