Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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