ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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