What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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