I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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