white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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