RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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