So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
