I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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