i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
