I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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