And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize