Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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