i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
