you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
