i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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