Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
