1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
