my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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