I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
