If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize