I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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