I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
