What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
