If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
