Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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