But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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