Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
