My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
