you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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