I can text with my tongue
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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