heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
