he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
where does the pee come out of this thing
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She told me I should be a condom model.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
