he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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