so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
