yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dicks are not precious.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
