Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
