his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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