Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
