I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
