Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
