hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The feeling are messing with the penis
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
