Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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