As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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