You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
