Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
