as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
