please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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