In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
