I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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