K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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