u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
