i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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