Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
