I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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