Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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