Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize