What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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