i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
