I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize