his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
