i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
