see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
