Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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