Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize