No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
