bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
