There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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