What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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