And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
